Making Video Calls with Family: A Step-by-Step Guide

When my mom first learned to video call, it transformed her relationship with her grandchildren who live across the country. Instead of just hearing voices on the phone, she could watch them show off art projects, see them blow out birthday candles, and read bedtime stories while they snuggled in bed. The technology is not complicated once you understand the basics.

I am going to walk you through the three most popular video calling options: FaceTime (for Apple devices), Zoom (works on everything), and Google Meet (also works on everything). By the end of this guide, you will be ready to have your first video call.

Before You Start: A Few Basics

What You Need

• A smartphone, tablet, or computer with a camera
• A reliable internet connection (Wi-Fi works best)
• The phone number or email address of the person you want to call

Tips for Better Video Calls

• Good lighting matters: Face a window or lamp so your face is well-lit. Avoid having a bright light behind you.
• Hold your phone steady: Prop it against something or use a stand if available.
• Speak clearly: The microphone might not pick up mumbling or soft voices.
• Be patient: There can be slight delays between when you speak and when the other person hears you. Avoid interrupting.

Option 1: FaceTime (iPhone and iPad)

FaceTime is the simplest option if both you and the person you are calling have iPhones, iPads, or Mac computers. It comes built into every Apple device—no download required.

How to Make a FaceTime Call

Method 1: From the FaceTime App

1. Find and tap the FaceTime app on your iPhone or iPad (green icon with a white video camera)
2. Tap New FaceTime at the top of the screen
3. Type the person's name, phone number, or email address in the "To:" field
4. Tap their name when it appears in the list
5. Tap the green FaceTime button to start the video call

Method 2: From the Phone App

1. Open the Phone app
2. Find the person in your Contacts or Recents
3. Tap their name to open their contact card
4. Tap the video camera icon next to "FaceTime"

How to Answer a FaceTime Call

When someone FaceTimes you, you will see an incoming call screen with their name and picture. Tap the green Accept button to answer with video, or the red Declinebutton if you cannot talk.

During the Call

• Mute yourself: Tap the microphone icon if you need to cough or talk to someone nearby
• Turn off your camera: Tap the camera icon if you do not want to be seen
• Flip the camera: Tap the camera flip icon to show what you are looking at instead of your face
• End the call: Tap the red X button

What If They Do Not Have an iPhone?

FaceTime traditionally only worked between Apple devices. However, you can now create a FaceTime link that anyone can join from a web browser, even on Android or Windows devices.

1. Open FaceTime
2. Tap Create Link
3. Choose how to share the link (text message, email, etc.)
4. The other person can open the link in their web browser and join your call

Option 2: Zoom (Any Device)

Zoom became a household name during the pandemic, and for good reason—it works on virtually everything and is free for calls with two people or small groups under 40 minutes.

Getting Zoom

On iPhone or iPad:

1. Open the App Store
2. Search for Zoom
3. Download Zoom - One Platform to Connect
4. Open the app and create a free account (you can sign up with your email or Google account)

On Android:

1. Open the Google Play Store
2. Search for Zoom
3. Download Zoom - One Platform to Connect
4. Open the app and create a free account

How to Start a Zoom Call

1. Open the Zoom app
2. Tap New Meeting
3. Make sure "Video On" is turned on
4. Tap Start a Meeting
5. Once in the meeting, tap Participants at the bottom
6. Tap Invite
7. Choose how to send the invitation (text message, email, etc.)

The person you invite will receive a link. When they click it, they will join your call.

How to Join Someone Else's Zoom Call

If someone sends you a Zoom link:

1. Tap the link in the message or email
2. The Zoom app will open automatically (or your web browser if you do not have the app)
3. Tap Join with Video
4. If prompted, allow Zoom to access your camera and microphone
5. You may see a "waiting room" message until the host admits you

Zoom Controls During a Call

• Mute/Unmute: Tap the microphone icon
• Start/Stop Video: Tap the camera icon
• Chat: Send text messages during the call
• Leave: Tap "Leave" in the top corner to exit the call

Option 3: Google Meet (Any Device)

Google Meet is Google's video calling service. If you have a Gmail account, you already have access to it. It works well on any device and is completely free for personal use.

Getting Google Meet

Google Meet is available through the web browser or as an app:

• On a computer: Just go to meet.google.com in any web browser
• On iPhone/iPad: Download "Google Meet" from the App Store
• On Android: Download "Google Meet" from the Play Store (it may be pre-installed)

How to Start a Google Meet Call

1. Open Google Meet (app or website)
2. Sign in with your Google/Gmail account if needed
3. Tap New meeting
4. Tap Create a meeting for later or Start an instant meeting
5. Copy the meeting link and send it to the person you want to call
6. Or tap Share invite to send via text or email

How to Join a Google Meet Call

1. Click the link someone sent you
2. The meeting will open in your browser or the Google Meet app
3. Tap Join now or Ask to join

Which Option Should You Use?

Here is my simple recommendation:

• If everyone has iPhones: Use FaceTime. It is the simplest and requires no setup.
• If you mix Apple and Android: Use Zoom or Google Meet. Both work great on all devices.
• For larger family calls: Zoom handles big groups well and is what most people are familiar with.

Troubleshooting Common Problems

They Cannot See Me

• Make sure your camera is not covered (check for a case or sticker)
• In the app, make sure video is turned on (camera icon not crossed out)
• Check that you have given the app permission to use your camera in Settings

They Cannot Hear Me

• Make sure you are not muted (microphone icon not crossed out)
• Check that you have given the app permission to use your microphone
• Try speaking louder and closer to the phone

The Video Is Choppy or Freezing

• This usually means a slow internet connection
• Move closer to your Wi-Fi router if possible
• Close other apps that might be using the internet
• Ask other people in the house to pause streaming video temporarily

The Call Will Not Connect

• Make sure you have a strong internet connection
• Try closing the app completely and reopening it
• Restart your phone if problems persist

Practice Makes Perfect

If this is all new to you, I suggest doing a practice call with a patient family member before an important occasion. Work out the kinks when it does not matter, so you are confident when grandkids are blowing out birthday candles or you are watching a holiday dinner from far away.

The first call might feel awkward—that is completely normal. Within a few calls, it will feel as natural as a regular phone conversation. And the joy of seeing loved ones' faces, even through a screen, is absolutely worth the small learning curve.